the tower

i was climbing to the top of this big gym-type building, up spiral stairs that would around the inside courtyard of the building. when i got near the top, i saw someone climbing over the rail and jumping off, then another, and another. each time i heard the sound of their bodies hitting the floor, a flat slap. the sound seemed really shallow to me, and sickening. the top of the building was very windy and narrow. i suddenly felt very dizzy and got down on my hands and knees to keep myself from falling over the edge. just then, an earthquake started, and the building began to sway in deep arcs, tilting sideways. the edge was surrounded by a high chain-linked fence, which i clung to and climbed across to get to the stairwell again and get down the building.

later i went home to our new apartment on 20th and mission. there was a music festival in the alley up the block, i went down and there were all of our friends from sacramento watching teddy play.

the desert, the bridge

i went out in the desert to an old building on an indian reservation. inside, i floated through the rooms above the floor. someone else was in the building and i floated down to the floor and laid there like i was sleeping. when they found me, i pretended that i didnt know how i got there.
later i was with my sister on an invisible bridge in the sky and little airplanes flew all around, and i wished i was flying a little airplane too, because i was so bored.

Eric and I went to a small show. It was a small room, with a few people sitting around the walls. A young guy came in to the center of the room and started to play. It was pretty bad, and when he finished, everyone was so bored that they forgot to clap. Right as I was realizing he finished and about to clap, he flew into a rage. He yelled that his music wasn't good enough for us because we were snobs and things like that. I yelled back that he was being an asshole, to lighten up. He stormed over to me and I thought he was going to hit me so I kicked him  hard in the crotch. He fell away to the side, groaning. When he got up he came back over and blew some powder over me. He said it was a virus, that we would all get it. Next, a small package was ejected from a hidden space in the wall. It looked like a stereo, but when I opened the disk tray, it wasn't a disk tray but an ID scanner that read the soles of feet. I had a bad feeling about it. I thought it might be a bomb. Eric and I started to run and we could hear the guy laughing behind us that we couldn't get away.
We managed to get out of the building before the blast. There were people all around us, and when the bomb went off the people around us turned to zombies. They kept walking but in a straight line, just walking at a steady pace, no destination. We tried to keep ahead of them, but they were all around. We didn't know what they would do if they caught up to us, if anything. We ran to the top of a rocky hill and saw that they were all around us. There was nowhere else we could go. We decided to lay down in a crevice of the rock where nobody below could see, but we knew that at that moment the zombies were climbing the rock too and would soon be walking over us. We didn't know what else to do, so we just laid there together.
The zombies finally did come to our space at the top of the crag. There were four of them. Two settled on the ledge of our cliff, the others sat on the edge of the cliff opposite, whose lip was just a couple of feet from our own. They all sat there for a minute, right in front of us. I thought about pushing them off, but was too curious and petrified at the same time. I realized they were about to jump. When they did, just pushing themselves gently off the edge like they were getting out of a chair, I knew the two others would think we pushed them. They grabbed at us, trying to pull us off the ledge, but couldn't quite reach. We ran down the other side of the rock.
When we got to the bottom, we found ourselves again by the gate of the building. We had heard the explosion, but the building still stood. Now, the building extended on both sides, all around us, closing us inside a circle. We were trapped. We could hear the guy's voice all around us, coming through speakers or maybe just the air. We knew that if we stayed there eventually we would die.
Ahead, there was a large room. The voice called people into the room to play the most realistic and difficult game in the world. We went inside, if only just out of fear of what would come if we stayed out. Inside, people were suiting up for the game. Everyone had a large fake gun. Into the butt of the gun we were told to fasten razor blades, which would jab into our sides when we were shot. Terrified, I tried to drag Eric out of the room with me, but couldnt. I got out the door myself, and he was trapped inside to play.
There was a woman in uniform outside, a guard or something maybe. I asked what would happen to us here, if we would be killed. She said we wouldn't be killed, certainly, but there was no way out, at least, not that she knew of. My bravery partially restored, I snuck back into the video game room. The game had already started. Everyone sat in tall chairs that moved and rocked to simulate the movements of the game, and wore screened goggles that showed each the game from their individual perspectives. I sat in one of the chairs and pretended to play along. I couldn't see Eric. I didn't have goggles or  gun, but I could somehow see a little bit. We were rowing canoes across a river. When we got to the other side, we were on a racetrack. Pedals came out of the bottom of the seat. I couldn't really see, but the car I chose turned out to be a giant van. I went around the track a couple times. On accident, I ran over one of the other cars on the track. There was a horrible gridning sound, and when I looked around I saw one of the other players in his seat, his clothes almost totally ground off. Not wanting to hurt anyone, I drove off the edge of the track, into empty sky. I felt my chair fall away from me, all around me, nothing but white. I felt myself falling through the empty sky, just for a minute, before finding myself in my chair once again.I looked over and saw Eric in his chair. Like me, he had driven over the edge as well. I went and took a chair closer to him. I didn't want to be separated there. I looked in his eyes. I woke up.

last night i dreamed that my sister found a terrarium with three snakes in it. we had it out on the sidewalk. she left the lid of of the terrarium and they escaped. i tried to find them all and put them back inside. i put the lid back on loosely, one of the snakes' tails was hanging out. before i could gently tuck it back in, a man came and grabbed it out of my hands and shoved the lid down closed, severing the tail. the snake was cut in half, i felt terrible, i screamed at the man. different people kept coming to me and giving me more snakes, which i put in the terrarium. i found a lizard and put it in too. the thing filled with lizards and snakes, even a guinea pig. the snakes kept escaping from different holes and i had to put them back in and back in. one bit me on my leg, a tiny one, and it bled a lot.

later i dreamed that eric and i were out in the city late at night. he was drunk. our potential landlord called to offer us the apartment on mission and eric fucked it up. i woke up and had to figure out that it hadnt actually happened.

i have dreamed about earthquakes three times since eric and i moved to san francisco a week ago.

the first time was the first night in the city. i was in a tall building with some old friends (kelsey & evan et. al.) and it started to sway and eventually fell over, but when it fell it fell slowly, and we drifted down to the ground. we all sat out on the ground by the water waiting for help then. we were all fine and relaxed, none of us hurt. we were playing cards and drinking. i looked in the water and saw that the bridge had collapsed, and there were cars and bodies floating by in the water. i screamed.
the second time was just an afterthought, in the middle of another dream i thought i felt shaking and laid on the ground to try to feel it better.
last night was the third time, i was in a car with someone going down a hill and everything started shaking and the cars breaks stopped and we rolled down the hill and i thought we were going to die but the dream just went on